Monday, June 30, 2008

I keep on forgetting to post that, "HAHAHA! Told you so!" I told my helper that Spain would win the Euro Cup 08! Oh, I so rock at this. I mean, I told everyone that David Cook would win the American Idol Season 7, 2008. And guess what, HE WON! (:
Tell me I rock! Cause I know I do! (: Cheers to me! Oh, S can have Ed Westwick, because he's not worth fighting for. Ooopss, I've got to pray. Cheers to me & my wonderful judgements! (:

| 6:14 PM |

I think I have a fear of accepting someone. I'm too afraid to let someone get close to me, because I feel like I'm exposed. I've already built a metre high wall between me & the next person. Yes, I don't want to be loved. Not yet, not ready. That's how I feel about love. Love is overrated. Love is a hassle. Oh, I can't stand being in love, or being loved. I've got my heart broken once & I'm not going to let it happen to me again. Yes, I'll get better in time. Just not now. I've closed myself from the world. My history with love was as bad as the Cold War. Yes, that bad. I'm not well- versed in the art of loving. Don't get me wrong, though. I love my family tons more as compared to me loving someone. As, I said, I'm not well- versed in the art of loving. I don't love anyone else except my family. And I want it to stay this way until I'm ready.

Back then, love was as common as ants in your house. The phrase, "I love you." was nothing to me. Really. I just said it like it meant nothing to me. Because, it really didn't.

Me & S are quarrelling over Ed Westwick on MSN Messenger. How queer. Her family is going to Switzerland & France during their summer break. Her family is in Brunei. They're natives. I mean, there's no four season, but she & the siblings are in an international school. Cool, right? Fyi, they're my second cousins. Don't ask, too long a family tree. (: Urghhh! Why can't she just give Ed Westwick to me!? (:

| 5:50 PM |

Well, this is going to be some random post. Something you readers should know about me. I loathe being called a normal girl. I don't succumb to mainstream normality. Honestly. I don't succumb to peer pressure. Really, I don't. I really dislike being called cute. Urghh! An author once wrote that cute is another word for non- threatening & plain dumb. Really. I feel sad whenever someone calls me that. It's like, "Great! Now people won't take me seriously."

I dislike being blamed for something I didn't do. I mean, I occasionally get that mostly from my parents & it'll trigger some anger nerve inside me. That's bad. Oh, please especially agree with me when I'm right, even when I'm wrong. Just agree until I've figured out my mistake. It's kinda hopeless if you were to point out that you're right because, I'll eventually prove my point. By then, you'll be put to shame or I won't talk to you for days to come.

You also would not want to get on my bad side cause, I'm ruthless. I'm not normal. I don't want to be normal. Nor do I want to be abnormal. I just don't want to be associated with being normal people. Normal people are... I don't really know what normal people do. Just my point! I'm not normal. Never am, never will be. I don't stick to a group of people. Not because I don't have friends, but because I like it when I have different friends of different point of views. Yes, it's like that. I'm not like most of my mates. I think friends just come & go, so hence the term 'mates'. Continuing, I'm not like your usual lot cause I'm driven. Really driven. I mean, it doesn't show in my results, but I am purpose- driven. Yes, ask anyone. I want to be a LAWYER. Honestly, I do! With all my heart. Though, I'll keep my options open. Yes, a lawyer.

I lead a pretty normal life. A life is not equal to who I am, right? Well, anyway, I lead a normal privileged life. Most would say that I am lucky, pampered, etc. I don't consider myself that because how I got this far in life is not because of my privileged life, but because of my sheer willingness to succeed. I'm not one to be humble, but this is a fact. Yes, I've struggled, like anyone on Earth. Yes, I feel hopeless easily & yes, I am pessimistic. Through it all, I've become a better person. I've surrendered myself to God. I'm becoming a more positive person because life is just too short to waste on being sad. I'm going to accept any fate given to me, but on my own accord. The decisions I make will eventually shape me into what I'll become in the future.

Yes, I'm still young to understand that the world is an unforgiving place. I also know that life is unfair. Yes, I am young, by all means, but I think I'm capable enough to think & act accordingly. Oh, I feel so wise. (: You never know until you try.

Now, I just finished my Economics Prelims 1, Paper 1. It was shall I say, a paper that is doable, but hard. I AM going to get 80/100 for Economics. If I don't get that, I don't mind. I've got another chance to prove myself worthy of sitting for my O' levels this year. Yes, I have more will power than I can ever imagine. God, gives me will, God gives me strength.

OMGosh! I so so miss A, even though I parted ways with him just an hour or two ago! (:

| 4:43 PM |

Friday, June 27, 2008

OMGosh! Its Friday! Finally! It feels as though school started months ago, honestly. Since it's Friday, it means it's less than 24 hours before my Economics Prelims officially starts. Arghhh! Panicking, NOW! It's 10 pm. I've only revised a few topics. Yes, a few or 3/4 of it. That hopefully should be sustainable. Yes, hopefully.

My N' level oral for both my languages is coming! Both my oral languages is on a Friday, no fair! My English oral is up first, on the 11 of July. Omgosh, that's like the day the iPhone 3G is launched for the first batch. Urghhh! Oh, my Malay lisan is the week after at some secondary school near my school. hahaha, Go figure. (:

This is going to be short because I've got a few more topics to revise. So, wish me all the best as a few of my mates have already done. (: OMGosh! Arghhh!

| 9:43 PM |

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I, finally feel the tension & stress rising. And it's only the second day of school! Actually, I felt it on the first day already. Oh, the stress! There isn't going to be any Netball this week. Don't ask. Cause I wouldn't wanna know. So, since there wasn't any Netball, B & I, went to MacD and ate ICE CREAM, cause we were craving for it. All right, my right wrist hurts a lot. One hand typing can be time consuming. Gosh! First day of school rocks (not!). (: Homework's already piling up. My Malay N' level oral is on July 18! Arrrrggggghhhhhh! A Friday! At some school. Shan't say. Sexy's out! I hope 'Sexy' eventually dislikes me. Iknowthisisbad, butIcan'thelpit! (: All right. My right hand is currently tired.

iPhone's going to be available only on the July 11, US + 21 other countries. Not including S'pore ): Hopefully, Uncle's there during that period because I want it so badly. I'm starting to hallucinate that I already have the iPhone. (: How very stupid, right? I mean, what if, Dad decides to change his mind on the 11th hour? OMGosh! I'd be so CRUSHED, HEARTBROKEN & DEVASTATED! I prolly wouldn't trust Dad's word any longer. My sister's (Mirs) thinking of getting one too! This CANNOT be happening! How ghastly would it be if both of us have the same iPhone? Gosh! Pandemonium would happen. Chaos between my sister & I!

| 5:40 PM |

Monday, June 23, 2008

I'm in SCHOOL! (: No cause for excitement, though. Just the usual first day of school buzz. I mean, you're glad to see those familiar faces in school. Gosh, I miss them. B, E, K.. etc. I miss my girlfriends - TONS! (: I think this is going to be short because I dislike blogging in school as everyone gets to see it. (: I dislike 'sexy', he's weird.

| 1:23 PM |

Friday, June 20, 2008

I've hit 10 posts already! (: Okay. It's Friday night & I'm online chatting. It's actually quite nice. Looks like most of my mates don't really go out on a Friday night. Or maybe they're lazy. Not sure, don't really care.

Anyway, I watched the whatchamacallit... keynote of the iPhone 3G. OMGosh! I am absolutely, completely, utterly EXHILARATED & HYPED! (: I so want it right now, this instant. If only, my country is amongst the first batch. This means, I'll have to wait longer. OMGosh! It's just too much anticipation. (: I actually want the white iPhone. Apparently, only the 16GB carries both the white & black iPhones. Too bad, then. I'll just stick to the black iPhone, then. Though, keep your fingers crossed, I'll try my very best to cajole Dad so that he gets me the 16GB which obviously comes with a bigger price tag. If not, then the black 8GB iPhone, it is! (: Either way, I'll be as happy as a lark! (: I'm happy with that. Nevertheless, I'll inveigle Dad into buying me the 16GB white/ black iPhone.

Keep your fingers crossed, ladies & gents! (:

Wishlist (updated);
- iPhone 3G (8GB/16GB)
- iPod Nano 3rd Generation
- MacBook Air
- more dress
- more bags

That's the most I can sum up currently. Though I'll keep on updating my wishlist every now & then. (:

| 11:01 PM |

It's already 3, think I'll retire for the night right now. Hopefully, I don't wake up with a hangover headache. (: Good night world, Hello my comfy little bed! (:

| 3:02 AM |

Apparently, the world doesn't sleep. I'm losing the bid to outsleep my messenger mates. (: This is why I'm wide awake at freakin' two in the morning. Plus, cause I have S to keep me company. Thank God for S. Well, whilst chatting with S, I did many things. I painted my nails blood red. Now, they're talons. Raaaawr! Being random. (:

I've got the feeling that that ex-classmate of mine is freaking me out. I was actually scared shit!

"Sexy isn't that sexy after all."

My ex-classmate is supposedly 'sexy' when he chats. (:

| 2:51 AM |

Thursday, June 19, 2008

All right. I finally choose to get the iPhone 3G. With help from a dear friend of mine, who made me feel reassured that I'm making the right decision. (: I spent the whole day on this computer, chatting. That just goes to show that I don't really have a life. Sad life, I'm leading. Well, I'm just here to post that me & my 'ex-bestfriend' are friends. It's weird, but it's the truth. I've spent my afternoon chatting with that dear friend of mine & my friend at the same time.

School's opening. I think I posted it in the previous post of the same day. (: I'm scared for school to open. I'm not prepared for school to open. And I'm not going to drive myself crazy because of school! I'll make sure of that. I'm also going to make sure that I'm sane & not going to jump off a building anytime soon. (:

What I've learnt this whole 2 weeks is that I can never escape from school. And, I've just realized that my Economics Preliminary Exams is coooooommmmiinnngggg! It's on a Saturday, 28/06/08 and the following Monday, 30/06/08. Who sits for an exam of Saturday? Twisted education system. Maybe it's the school. I don't really know. This is all just so twisted. And it's in the freakin' morning! SATURDAY MORNING, preliminary exams! Who wakes up before 9 am on a Saturday? I for one, do not wake up before 10 am on a Saturday. (: I'm kinda lazy, as you can see/ read. (:

My new dear friend, S. (: Go figure.
S's birthday is coming!

The 'lipstick jungle' by Candace is nice. Really nice. Really, really, really nice.

A, is an uber bestguyfriend of mine. Yes, he's mine. Blur and cute. (: I like him. He's my favourite guyfriend. He's not back from where he came from. Not back from his hometown. I miss him oh-so-dearly! Look who just came online. My ex-classmate! Ohhh. (:

| 10:43 PM |

Now, let me check their store to see whether it's the same flip phone that I want. Maybe I got confused with another one. Well, I'll have to check it out first. Hold, while I see if that the phone that I want. Okay! Checked it out. It's actually, MotoRazr 2 v9. Well, that's THE phone that I want so badly. We'll wait & wait see.

| 3:36 PM |

All right, I think I want to get that Motorola Razr v9 phone. Cause it's so cool. And because I was inspired by Gossip Girl. Almost all of the characters in it has those flip phones. (: So, I don't think iPhone 3G's going to do it for me. I now want a freakin' flip phone. (: I guess I should go back to the first post and edit my wishlist, huh? Hell, I'm going to do it right now. (: toodles!

| 3:30 PM |

I think the appropriate number of post per week for me is, at the very least 3. (: I think that's fairly reasonable. For me at least. Cause I think going on the computer is kind of a hassle. Maybe for others, it isn't. I haven't been online for quite a while due to me being sick. God, was that horrible. Really! I actually felt my throat acting up on Saturday, after I ate all the Haagen Dasz ice cream in the world. It's the only ice cream that I enjoy eating. Actually, I don't really mind what type of ice cream, just so long as it's ice cream, I'm a happy girl. Well, except for those ice cream carts that you see everywhere along Orchard Road. I'm sick. I'm tired. And I'm coughing like a hag. (: Sounds so sick, dontcha think? This is so not fun.

School's going to open, anytime soon! Too soon. In another lemme see... 4 days! Gosh! D-Day! (: I think I exaggerate. (: Gossip Girl is the bomb. It rocks my sleepless nights. BOOYA! This is going to be the shortest post ever posted by me, for this blog. (:

Grandfathers are hard to take care of. Honestly! It's so hard. I felt like jumping off a building just so I can get away from it. Okay! That sounds bad. It all started when me & my family went to JB to go grocery shopping and get all the usual stuffs from there. Usually, Grandfather doesn't go. I think it was cause of my maid that he ended up going to. Well, that's beside my point. Once we got past the immigration checkpoint, we went to City Square. Me, my sisters & Grandfather went to Starbucks while Dad got his hair cut. Mirs, being a full ass, wanted to go get Coffee Bean's sunrise. So, I told Nabs that she & Grandfather should go to Starbucks while me & Mirs went to go get sunrise. All was fine, until Nabs came back to us and told us that Grandfather wanted to go to Starbucks with us. So, I told Nabs to tell Grandfather to wait. So, he waited and waited & waited until he got so fed up that he HAD to 'barge' in the cafe and almost shouted at the person because of slow service. At that point of time, the guy was already making Mirs sunrise.

So, I kinda patiently but irritatingly told Grandfather this, "They are doing the thing (sunrise) already!"

That was the first glitch. Boy was I unfortunate that there were more of these outbursts of impatience to come. I'm too tired to type any longer. You get the gist? Hopefully. Whatever it is, I'll LOVE GRANDFATHER! (:

| 3:04 PM |

Friday, June 13, 2008

OMGosh! I finally, by God's will finished cleaning my study place. Gosh! Who'd knew it would be so tiring. Started at 3 all the way til 6 +pm. Well, actually I could have finished it within 2 hours, but Mirs distracted me. Or I asked her to help me cut out pictures. Who'd knew finding the right sized picture would be so hard? There was always, the "The head is too big"/ "It's head is too small". We're weird sisters, man! (:

Finished all my homework, Thank God. Weeeeeellllll, except for Physics. (; I can't help it. My form teacher, who's also my Physics teacher is such a pest. I guess cause he's our form teacher. Sometimes, I think I pity form teachers. Then, somehow, I think they deserve it. That's mean, actually. Since it's the hols, you can be expecting continuous updated posts cause well, I kinda have loads of time to spare. Let's see the state of this blog when school reopens on the 23/06/08. (:

I'm tired. So, you prolly see a short post today. Oh, I don't know what song to download. Any ideas? Gosh! I think there was one fine night when I actually dreamt that I got the iPod Nano 3rd Generation from Dad. How awfully weird. It's so sad, cause I don't really have it. I mean, my current iPod Nano 1st Generation (black) is functioning properly. So, I can't really have another one. I'll patiently wait, though. (: Hopefully, something good comes out of this whole waiting game. I don't really do waiting games, cause I'm not patient. Ask anyone. I'll be the last person they would say patient. Guess it's not in my dictionary. (:

"Aren't you eating?" (: That is so random. I mean, for me to post it here. I get that question a lot. Especially from Mum & my sisters. They think that I'm too skinny. What a load of SHIT. Frankly speaking (or typing), I'm FAT. Like F-A-T! Go figure. Though everyone around me would say otherwise. Well, let's just say, I think.. no wait, I don't think, cause I'm right that I'm F-A-T! Time to shed those pounds. (:

| 8:44 PM |

Let's just see how long I can keep this blog updated! (:

| 12:44 AM |

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I'm BACK! At least from the mosque. I went there with my sisters & Dad. I was actually pretty shocked that Dad asked to me follow him to the mosque. I don't really know how to spell the name of the mosque. All I can say is that it is near Bukit Timah, go figure. I cried when Dad told me I was the only one who had to go with him. You see, I was SCARED shit! honestly! Even though it wasn't my first time, I was scared because the last I went there was with Mum. So yeah, I cried. Called Mum so that she could somehow, somewhat solve my HUGE problem. (:
Mum's my fortress! She the BEST. So, in the end, my sisters followed me. Had a blast with them. Really (:

Upon reaching the mosque, anxiety started to settle in. Both me & my sisters were scared shitless. And a wee bit nervous. A million & one makciks were there. The makciks were all there and chatting like they've got no tomorrow. Actually, it's kinda wrong for me to say that they've talked like there's no tomorrow, because, you never really know when God suddenly decides to take your life anyway. Not cause He hates you, but because He loves us more. So, scratch the "they've go no tomorrow" part. I sound so wise like that. (: Anyway, there was this lady who really would easily get on people's nerves. Not mine, though. I mean, she was doing what nobody wanted to do. So, yeah. Oh I forgot, when I got there (the ladies side), there was a group of Grandmothers, who were so nice. I mean, there we spaces along their row, so upon seeing us, they called us over. The place was packed so, finding a space was HEAVEN! The spaces that they indirectly gave us was enough to fit 2 asses and another one in front. So, me & Mirs pushed Nabs to the front. In the end, all of us actually got separated when we were getting ready to pray. There was so much space in front that I was finally forced to move my ass. Same went to Nabs. (:

FATHERS' DAY is coming! (; I don't really know what to do cause my family doesn't really celebrate Fathers'/Mothers' Day. The day that's REALLY REALLY REALLY, I mean, ABSOLUTELY important to us is our respective BIRTHDAYS! Yes. Mine came & went. The rest of my Family's birthdays are around this period between June- October. Go figure. (:

This blog is going to stay low-pro cause the information collected can be used against me. Get the gist? Two posts in a day feels good. Oh, and I ignored my Physics homework completely. Don't blame me, cause I woke up too early on a 'holiday'. Slept so peacefully. I think. I can never get enough sleep during the hols cause this is the time when my brain works on overload. I mean, it's 12.15am on a Friday and I don't even feel the slightest bit sleepy. That is, until tomorrow, when I wake up and wonder if I ever slept at all. (:

| 11:43 PM |

All right. My first post. Not my first blog. I deleted the previous one cause... well, it was kinda non-existent. Hopefully the new one proves to be better than the first. I'll try my best to keep this blog updated, though it's kinda hard to say. Weeeell, I've just logged out of friendster. I kinda twitched my profile here & there. I want to change the background of my friendster profile. Only problem is, I'm kinda dumb in all this stuffs. Waiting & waiting for E to come online, so that she'd help me.

School's opening soon. 1 week & counting. Bracing myself for the truckloads of homework. The burdening amount of stress and the burning of the midnight oil. OMGosh! I'm starting to sound so depressing. Actually, school's not all that bad. Just misunderstood. You see, the purpose of education is not the same as compared to the purpose of the current generation. Gosh, that sounds so so so old of me. (:
I miss E & K. Like hell! I mean, how often do I get to actually go out with them? NONE! NIL! ZILCH! Okay. I previewed this post. Looks decent enough. What have I been doing the whole 4 day prior to this blog existence?
Weeeeeeeellllllllll, homework covered the most of my time. I'm slacking in the number of books I'm read per week. Honestly!

Oh, before I forget, a few days back, my ex-classmate came online. He's an ex cause well, he moved back to his home country (Indo). What can I say about him.. He's weird. Like for real. Shan't tell you the whole story cause it's kinda embarrassing, at least I think it is. Also cause I'll never hear the end of it. And plus, I want to tell E & K first. So, my lips (and fingers) are sealed (and keeping numb). I don't really know what word to use for the fingers part. So hence, the numb thingy. (:

This is a long post by my usual standards. Maybe cause I'm giving blogging another shot. Hopefully, this turns out for the best. I want to finish reading 'lipstick jungle' by Candace Bushnell. I also want to finish all my homework so that, I'll be free for the next few days. Maybe not free, just no longer unburdened. The below is my wishlist. Just for the fun of it.

Wishlist;
- iPhone 3G/ MotoRazr 2 v9 (:
- iPod Nano 3rd generation.
- Macbook Air.
- that gold clutch.
- those many dresses.

all right. that's it for now. that's the most I can come up with. Sad, actually.
til I log in again... (:

| 12:05 PM |