Monday, June 30, 2008

I think I have a fear of accepting someone. I'm too afraid to let someone get close to me, because I feel like I'm exposed. I've already built a metre high wall between me & the next person. Yes, I don't want to be loved. Not yet, not ready. That's how I feel about love. Love is overrated. Love is a hassle. Oh, I can't stand being in love, or being loved. I've got my heart broken once & I'm not going to let it happen to me again. Yes, I'll get better in time. Just not now. I've closed myself from the world. My history with love was as bad as the Cold War. Yes, that bad. I'm not well- versed in the art of loving. Don't get me wrong, though. I love my family tons more as compared to me loving someone. As, I said, I'm not well- versed in the art of loving. I don't love anyone else except my family. And I want it to stay this way until I'm ready.

Back then, love was as common as ants in your house. The phrase, "I love you." was nothing to me. Really. I just said it like it meant nothing to me. Because, it really didn't.

Me & S are quarrelling over Ed Westwick on MSN Messenger. How queer. Her family is going to Switzerland & France during their summer break. Her family is in Brunei. They're natives. I mean, there's no four season, but she & the siblings are in an international school. Cool, right? Fyi, they're my second cousins. Don't ask, too long a family tree. (: Urghhh! Why can't she just give Ed Westwick to me!? (:

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